As the holiday season approaches, many families find themselves overwhelmed with the hustle and bustle that comes with it. A strategy often employed by educators might just be the key to fostering stronger bonds within families during these busy times.
Researchers at the University of Virginia’s School of Education and Human Development have been pioneering a method known as “banking time” for over ten years. This approach is designed to enhance positive interactions between teachers and their pupils, and it is now being explored for its benefits within family settings.
Amanda Williford, the Batten Bicentennial Professor of Early Childhood Education, is at the forefront of implementing this technique in early elementary education. The method gained particular attention in 2020 when Williford advocated for its use by families during the pandemic, a time when schools nationwide were closed, and children spent extended periods at home.
Williford explains, “During the holidays, there are lots of demands on both children and parents. Parents are juggling many additional responsibilities on top of typical chores and jobs, while kids’ schedules are less structured. The stress on kids and on parents can be high, and this is a recipe for conflict.”
The essence of banking time is to disrupt potential conflicts in adult-child dynamics and renew those relationships. Unlike the usual adult-driven interactions, this technique allows children to take the lead, fostering a deeper connection with their parents.
In practice, parents dedicate three 10-minute sessions each week for an activity chosen by the child. During these sessions, the child takes the lead, while the parent plays a supportive role, engaging in the activity without directing it. This role reversal not only helps children feel valued but also builds “relationship capital.”
Williford appreciates the simplicity of the method, stating, “I love that banking time is so simple and, by turning the structure of adult-child relationships on its head, it helps both adults and children ‘relate’ and ‘regulate.’”
Putting Time in the Bank
Throughout these 10-minute interactions, parents are encouraged to refrain from steering the activity. There’s no need to pose questions or provide encouragement. The absence of rules for the game is intentional and allows the child to guide the play. This approach helps children feel understood and appreciated, strengthening the emotional connection with their parents.
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